And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
