East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
