no you cant smoke seaweed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
