my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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