drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize