Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
