your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize