The maid of honor just puked.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
