did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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