Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he told me I talked like a deaf person
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
