ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
