This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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