I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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