The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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