I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
