New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
