i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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