So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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