The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He literally asked permission to hit on me
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize