I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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