I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
