dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize