ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
