I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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