i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
