Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
