I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
