Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Randomize
