This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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