I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
