He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
