You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
