Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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