I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
