no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize