During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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