The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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