What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Damn victory sex feels great
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
