He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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