Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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