She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He has the fingertips of a God
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