Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
