ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
dude. I can hear the air.
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