a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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