Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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