girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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