Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
