In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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