I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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