She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
