I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
