I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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