I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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