Jerry, you need to find god
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
