I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
