She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
