Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
