I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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