I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
